30 Letters Day 21 Someone You Judged By Their First Impression

This one is hard, I am ususally pretty good at first impressions usually if I get a bad vibe from someone when I first meet them I am right.

Dear Z,

I did judge you on my first impression of you but sadly I was right. You treated your "friend" like total crap. You moved in and used us, you treated us rudly and used our stuff and left our place a huge mess and just assumed we would clean up after you, then you got fired from your job and didn't bother looking for a new job and continued to mooch off of us. You were rude and took advantage of your friend who was trying to help you out. You use people to get ahead in life, sadly you lost a friend because of it.

Didn't like you from the start,

Mary

30 Letters Day 20 The One That Broke Your Heart The Hardest

It's funny how when your are with someone and when you realize that the relationship is starting to end you think how much you are hurting or how badly you feel. My high school sweetheart of course was hard but that was because I have never really experienced heartache before, so I can't count that one honestly. The rest of ending of serious relationships didn't ended with me being either happy or mad but not heart broken, call me weird but that's how it usually went. So I think this letter fits pretty well.

Dear G,

I am heart broken not over the fact that our relationship ended because I ended it. I found out you did nothing but lie to me the whole entire time I was with you and I refused to be with someone who couldn't hold down a job and did nothing but lie. So that isn't the part that breaks my heart. The part that breaks my heart is the fact that we have a handsome, smart, silly sweet boy that you want nothing to do with. It breaks my heart that you refuse to make even one attempt to make any contact with him. He is such a great big brother and son. I love that boy to pieces and it breaks my heart knowing you honestly don't care. Oh you claim you care but I know the truth, you would rather go around telling everyone that all I do is yell at you and say your a bad father but I can't say your a bad father because that would require effort, none of which you have made. So I am thrilled that I met someone who does give a damn about Avery and fine don't be there when Avery needs his Dad, Richard has totally stepped up and has done a great job, but part of me still breaks knowing his real father doesn't care to even know him....that's sad...really really sad.

Cracked but not Broken,

Mary

30 Letters Day 19 Someone That Pesters Your Mind—Good Or Bad

I wasn't really sure as to who to write this to, then this person came to mind......funny how things like that work out

Dear Scott,

I understand that you pulled the work from home program because people were not doing their jobs but I don't think you realize how badly it hurt me and many other's who were doing their job and doing a good job at that working from home. I have run into so many problems since I have had to go back in the office, I don't think it's fair to punish everyone because of a few bad apples. Especially when you still have a work from home agent now. Every problem that you came up with us work from homes had an answer or a way to improve it. The supervisors didn't like it because it was harder to manage us, but honestly I didn't even see them try! W refused to be nice to any of us and would avoid doing his job, maybe you should look at him? Just saying. I just wish you would consider letting us go back home, I know I did my job and did my job well. It's caused to many problems and heartache now that I am back in the office, and on top of that I get to deal with stupid in office drama! blah!

Missing My Office,

Mary

30 Letters Day 18 The Person That You Wish You Could Be

Dear Self,

Although you have been working on better a better you, there are things you can do that still need improvment. One you need to get your butt back to the gym, there has been things that have come up but when you go back to work next week no more excuses! Get your butt back into gear! You can do it! You need to keep on the eating better and no more junk food, you have been doing so good don't stop now! Keep working on improving the yard along with the house, you know once you do it the yard will look 10 times better and you will feel so much better about it too! I know you hate working all the time but it's helping out with the family so much, sorry body for not getting more sleep I promise it won't be like this forever! Thanks for understanding!

Sincerly,

Yourself

30 Letters Day 17 Someone From Your Childhood

I moved to Utah when I was 9 years old, Justin was one of my neighbors we were in the same grade, his family had a farm right by our house so I spent a lot of time with him. He sadly died a few years ago from a horrible car accident.

Dear Justin,

Whenever I drive through Wellsville I think of you. You were such a great friend! I have many fond memories with you and your family. Feeding the calf's, being cased by the cows in our pasture. Playing on the tramp for hours upon hours and going camping in the front yard. You were such a great guy with a sweet personality. We lost touch when the family moved to Ogden, and I am so sorry for that. I hate that I never was able to say goodbye. I feel for your wife, I'm so sorry your life was cut so short. I hope to see you again, just not anytime soon!

Friends forever,

Mary

30 Letters Day 16 Someone That’s Not In Your State/Country

I know a lot of people who live out of state but when I was thinking about who to write this to this person popped into my head. The picture above is Nadine and Avery, look at my baby! He was 3 here so basically Toby's age! Crazy how time flies!

Dear Nadine,

I have gone back and forth on our relationship and how we met. I found that you were disappointed in the way we met and I refuse to say I am sorry that it didn't go the way you wanted to because I acted the way I did because I was scared out of my mind, I was in a different place with no one I knew and I reacted the only way I knew. I watched everyone and I learned a lot about you and the family. I was really hurt when Todd wrote the blog about how you all thought that I was a Btch while I was out there. That hurt A LOT. But I am dropping it, I want to start fresh, I would like a relationship with you and the family but I am unsure how to do it. I don't want you to think I am this horrible person, I really am not. I am thinking of a way to re start our friendship, you did something I will always be thankful for. I am so happy you chose to give me to the Mower's I am so happy to be apart of their family. I can't thank you enough for that. I will say I am sorry if I hurt your feelings I never meant to do that. Hope we can start to build a better relationship but right now just not sure how.

Your oldest daughter

Mary

30 Letters Day 15 The Person You Miss The Most

I have really enjoyed doing a different letter to someone each day. Today was a tad crazy overall so I haven't had a chance to do it until now although I should be in bed like an hour ago but such is life...I mean who needs sleep, really? I can sleep when I'm dead! I honestly don't know who to write this day for. I don't really "miss" a lot of people and then it dawned on me as to who to write this to....

Dear Avery, Toby & Evan aka My Babies,

I won't make this long and sappy but rather short and to the point. I'm miss you every day more than you will ever realize. I miss seeing you grow up and seeing you day in and day out and every day normal things together. I miss it terribly. Avery I am so happy that you get to go to the boys and girls club after school and play with your friends I am so glad you enjoy it but I really wish I was the one that picked you up from school and that you came home with me instead of going there first. I miss our one on one time together when you and I could just hang out while the younger kids slept. Toby I miss having you come sit in my lab while worked, having you tell me those silly stories and show me who really is the boss around here, or so you would like to think! Evan my cute cute baby, oh how the time flies and with you being my last baby I am having the hardest time leaving you with someone else. Don't get me wrong I love and totally trust the person I leave you with I just wish I was the one who gets to play with you all day. I am sorry I am not around as much right now, I really hate it but I am trying get bills paid off so that I can spend more time with you later down the road, I am praying that the part time jobs are just a temp thing and we can get back on track of me being home with you every night. I miss you three boys more than anyone, please believe me that I am trying my hardest and it kills me everyday I am not with you. I love you boys more than anything in this world. And until the day comes where I can stay home with you full time I will being missing you. I am hoping something good comes out of this working tons of overtime!

Love you all always and forever!

Mommy

30 Letters Day 14 Someone You’ve Drifted Away From

I hate that life gets in our ways and we drift away from friends we don't mean to.

Dear Brandi,

Hi Love! I miss our times spent together. We became friends in such a funny way but I am so glad we met! It was so good seeing you on Sunday at cute Reagan's birthday party. I love our time together, you are such a wonderful Mom and person. I am so proud of you! You work hard and do so much for your family. I miss you and I want to make an effort to see you more often! Now that you live closer we should be able to! I promise to call more often!

Excited to see you again soon Friend,

Mary

30 Letters Day 13 Someone You Wish Could Forgive You

Since I started this 30 letters day project I have thought about this day. I don't have enemy's, I treat people the way I want to be treated, and people who thrive off drama and try to cause fights I avoid like the black plague. So I honestly wasn't sure who to write this to. The only person I could think of was myself, I have been told more than once by different people that I am to hard on myself...so here goes nothing

Dear Me,

Quit being so hard on yourself! Quit freaking out that if you didn't lose as much weight as some people on the HCG diet that you didn't do a good job or that you didn't do it correctly, some people lose it easier than others! You know you didn't cheat so quit beating yourself up! Your doing a good job to help your family get out of debt but remember to take a day for yourself! Don't wanna get burned out! Remember you ARE a good person and as much as you hate being away from your boys right now, paying off bills that much faster will help out a ton!

Love you,

Me

30 Letters Day 12 The Person You Hate Most/Caused You A Lot Of Pain

I don't like to hate people, takes to much energy to worry about how much you hate a person, but this person I can honestly say is the only person I hate. Hate with a passion. I won't say his name, but his nickname is D. D is a ex boyfriend of mine. I refuse to post a picture of this guy, instead I am posting a picture of my wonderful son Avery, it was him that made me realize I refuse to let my son be raised around a horrible person like D. When I realized that I packed up my stuff and I left him. Thank you Avery for making me realize that.

Dear D,

I can honestly say that I truly hate you! You took so much from me, you hurt me and had no reason other than your selfish reasons. You took my trust away in Men, along with money and items just so that you could buy your self more drugs. I always try and see the good in people but I can honestly say there isn't 1 thing I can think of for you! All I can say to you is one thing.......KARMA..........I hope I never see you again.

The ex that thankfully got away,

Mary