Family

So its the holidays so of course naturally think alot about what your thankful for and your family etc etc. I was talking to my Mom about my birth family the other day, I love my Mom very much she does so much for me & our family. My Mom and Dad adopted me many many (blah I'm old I know) years ago back in 1980 I was only 2 weeks old when they got me, my birth Mom Nadine was only 16 when she gave birth to me and decided to give me up for adoption, from what I can tell it wasn't really something she wanted but her parents convinced her it was the best thing for her to do, and of course I have mixed feelings on that, because I will always wonder what my life would have been if I had been raised by her instead of my family. But I am happy with my life and how I was raised....for the most part! I found my Nadine on a adoption website 2 years ago in September. I had her number but wasn't sure how to even make the call I finally got the nerves up and guess what called her the day before her birthday! Thought that was a pretty cool birthday gift! I have 2 half brothers & a half sister. I always wanted a little sister and now I have one! She just turned 15 the other day. Brian is a senior in high school and CRACKS me up I love his personality. Noah and his wife and their 2 kids live in Guam (They are both in the Air Force) Nadine her husband Todd and the younger kids live in Missouri. I met them 2 years ago in January. Due to conflicting times I wasn't able to take Avery with me so I went alone, I had a really really hard time out there, and got yelled at and alot of mixed emotions stirred up on my 5 day trip. I was really happy to get home and feel safe? I guess that's the only way I can describe how I felt. I look back and if I had a chance to do it over again I wouldn't have gone out there alone I was accused of being unfriendly quiet and withdrawn and that I needed to engage with the family more.....I was really upset for being accused of that because 1 I was ALL alone with strangers basically I never met any of these people before so I was yes quiet and I was totally overwhelmed with everything so I probably did seem withdrawn, but it upset me because they go mad at me for this. 2 I was watching everyone interact with each other just learning about them etc so yes I was unlike myself but I don't feel like I needed to apologize for this plus later found out my Birth Mom was disappointed when she met me....lovely. Then later on after I came home Todd...Nadine's husband posted a blog on his myspace that basically said I was a total B*tch the whole entire time I was out there! I read a great quote once "“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." I really love getting to know my family....at my own pace I really love chatting with Traci she's on my myspace and I talk to her through there and text message at least once or twice a week. I really just don't know how to handle with every once else so I am taking it step by step day by day. I have a Mom whom I love very much, I don't feel like I need another one, and I think that really hurt Nadine's feelings, I wasn't trying to hurt her feelings, I am grateful for her bringing me into this world and giving me a chance to have a better life but I don't feel like I need to call her Mom, I have a Mom. She gave birth to me but my Mom raised me and is there for me etc etc. Sooooo I am happy I met them but its been bitter sweet. Time will only tell......here are some pictures of them......if you have any questions or comments please feel free to leave them!

My Siblings Noah, Brian & Traci

My Lil Sister Traci

My Birth Mom & Avery