What A Week

This is long, I mainly want to remember this week while it's still very fresh on my mind.......

Man oh man has it been a crazy & sad week in the Hendrickson house! On Tuesday morning Richard and I was out doing my paper route, we were just finishing up one of the route (I have 4 I do every morning) when it sounded like I ran over a big gulp cup, thought nothing of it and continued to drive. We switched places and the battery light came on and we suddenly lost power steering. We drove it home switched cars and finished the other 3 routes. Came home and looked at the car and from what we could see we needed a new power steering pump, not exactly cheap but at least it's something easy to fix right? The cost with the part and labor would be about 300. We took the car down to the shop and we waited until they called us back. When they called us back we were expecting "good" news but instead we got news that it was going to cost us double what we expected it to, boo! It was the alternator not the power steering pump. Ugh is all I have to say about that! But at least the car got a tune up without it costing extra labor. Right? Sure...........

Wednesday was a normal day, seems like now this was the eye of the storm.

Thursday I got off work at noon, a friend needed a ride into Ogden and wasn't able to drive himself so I offered to take him. We stopped by my house to let Molly out to use the bathroom. We have been keeping them inside in our office until they were big enough to stay outside. I came home grabbed Molly out of the office and took her out, it was raining outside so I didn't let her stay outside for long. That's when things went down hill...quickly...Steve and I came back in the house and one of the puppy's was freaking out so I went and checked on it and that's when I discovered the other puppy's. Dead...4 of them, including Moo...he was the first one I found. When I first saw them they were randomly laying outside of the "cave" we had set up for them, they did this all the time they would crawl out of the cave and fall asleep. When I realized they weren't asleep I started to panic and tried to find the other 2. The little girl was clearly in pain she was crying so hard (still to this day my heart sinks when I think of her crying) I picked her up and saw she had bit marks all over her head. I felt around for the 6th and final puppy, I found him....he hadn't been touched (thank goodness). I threw Molly in the bathroom (she was freaking out and wanting to see her pups) and got a better look at the little girl. Steve and I were in total shock. I called Richard, I told him I had bad news. I called my Mom and told her about what had happened. I dropped Steve off where he needed to go and called my co worker, her daughter works for a Vet in North Ogden, I got her number and headed to her work. They took the pups and did an overview of them. They said the little girl didn't have a crushed skull (my biggest worry) and from what they could tell she just had minor cuts. She gave me some meds for the pain told me what to do for the wounds and some formula for both pups. At first I called my friend Lexi (a stay at home Mom, who was planning on taking one of the girl pups) if she would like to take the puppy's during the day to feed them (since I can't take them to work) and she agreed. About an hour after that my Mom called me, her friend Dr. Zega offered to take the puppy's she had bottle fed her pup from the time he was 5 days old so she knew what she was doing, and when it came to giving meds....well she's pretty much a pro at that, by profession! I took the puppy's up to her office, I was there for about an hour when I left we had gotten formula down both pups and they had oxygen next to the little girl's nose. I felt better about the puppy's had a good feeling the little girl was going to be ok and went home. That night my mom called me around 10PM saying that the doctor called and said that they found out that the little girl wasn't going to make it, she had internal bleeding. My heart sank again, 5 dead...only 1 lived...but the biggest question is WHY? Why did she do this? She didn't kill them all at once, she took them one at a time and killed them. I just don't get it. Richard came home we were both upset, over the loss of the pups and over the fact that our what we thought sweet dog had done. I gave him and hug and we both just bawled. (FYI both of us are non criers). Richard wouldn't go near Molly. (he later wished he did, to say goodbye). We agreed that since we don't know why she killed her puppy's that we had to give her up. We just can't take the chance of her acting out again and this time hurt one of our kids or someone else. The vet doesn't know why she did it, a lot of people said it was because we held them before their eyes were open, and it's not true I know it's not the vet didn't think that was the reason either. We thought about the fact it was raining and thunderstorm, but from what we could tell she started soon after Richard left for work (8:45 AM) and was still hurting them when I got there at 12:30PM and when Richard left the storm hadn't started up yet...so that rules out that. The only thing the vet could think of was post pardon (spelling) but my biggest fear is if that is true and it's a chemical in balance then who's to say she will ever go back to being "normal" and who is say that was the reason in the first place? What it still boils down to, is the fact that I simply can't trust her anymore, and my number one thing in life is to protect my babies. The guilt I would feel if I kept her and she did end up hurting one of my kids, I would NEVER EVER forgive myself. And with that being said, I got up the next morning and took her to the Animal Shelter. I walked in and they asked me what they could help me with and I just started to bawl. I somehow managed to tell her why I was there. I filled out the paperwork and handed her over to them, they quickly took her away...I didn't ever get to say goodbye, she was gone...gone forever...my sweet dog that I got Richard for Valentines day was no longer apart of our lives any longer. I called Richard after I left...bawling my eyes out. And still to this day I ask myself..why? why are you so upset? She is just a dog...not like you gave your child up? I want to say it's a combo of all my emotions mixed into one. I am not the type to cry but yet still to this day I will find myself thinking about her and start to tear up. Tonight I had left over food from Toby's dinner, I started to put the food in a pile to let Molly come eat it when I realized she wasn't there anymore, my heart just sank. I miss her so much, I try not to think what could happen to her, it's just to much for me to handle right now.

The puppy that did live we named him Lucky...for very obvious reasons. He is doing wonderful. I went and saw him Friday after I dropped Molly off and he licked my face when I picked him up, I want to say he was happy to "see" me, but I am pretty sure he was just hungry. Still it made me smile and after when I just had gone through I was willing to take anything.

Tomorrow (Sunday) is our 1 year anniversary. I am excited about that..1 year with my awesome hubby. (I will post more on that tomorrow night) I am proud to be a Hendrickson! Love my Hubby!